Mrs. Bonnet – mistress of Austenbourn, the setting for the production
A fussy, over-anxious chatterbox, Mrs Bonnet exists in a permanently frenzied state of anxiety. She feeds on gossip and is guaranteed to be indiscreet.
Eliza Bonnet – daughter of Mrs. Bonnet, married to Theodore Noble
Known for her quick-witted humour and down-to-earth nature, Eliza is in her first year of marriage to Mr Noble and is happier than she ever thought possible.
Theodore Noble – wealthy aristocrat, married to Eliza, nephew of Lady Cressida
Socially awkward, stubborn and taciturn, Noble is not a party-person, preferring the company of a few, trusted friends. To those friends, however, he is entirely loyal, utterly dependable, outrageously generous, honourable, honest and trustworthy.
Charlie Splendid – wealthy aristocrat, married to Mrs. Bonnet’s eldest daughter, Joan
Pleasant and easy going, Charlie Splendid is not the sharpest tool in the box. A happy optimist, he tends to see the best in others and is generally loved by all as a nice chap.
Clarissa Splendid – aristocrat and socialite, Charlie’s sister
Feisty and flirtatious, Clarissa Splendid is a force to be reckoned with. She’s a woman who knows what she wants and who will use any means available to her to get her own way.
Reverend Algernon Peacock – vicar under Lady Cressida’s employ
Pompous and desperate to be noticed, Reverend Peacock lives to impress his benefactress, Lady Cressida de Ville. She is his God, essentially, and his worth lies in her opinion of him.
Lady Cressida de Ville – aristocratic employer of Rev. Peacock, Noble’s aunt
Lady Cressida de Ville is a fully fledged member of the aristocracy and takes great pride in it. She’s known for her temper and her expensive habit of throwing antique vases at those who make her angry.
Detective Inspector Frederick Lacey (Detective)
Detective Inspector Frederick Lacey is the detective sent to solve the case. He provides the solution speech at the end of the evening.