Listen very carefully I shall say zis only wance. The victim of zis murder is none other than Madame Enid, the wife of the owner of Café Artois. Given the café’s long association with the French Resistance, the owner Ronné is keen to resolve her murder quickly and quietly.
Luckily (or unluckily) for him, an officer of the Gendarmes just happened to be “pissing by ze dur”.
Ronne Artois – Proprietor of the Café Congenial. Accommodating and irresistible to women, Ronne Artois treads a very thin line and gets his pleasure where he can.
Yvonne Gettemoi – Waitress.
Seductively attractive and with lots of admirable features which she certainly knows how to show off, Yvonne is accommodating in every respect.
Herr Flopp – Gestapo officer.
An unemotional man with quick intelligence and a devious mind, Herr Flopp is capable of all manner of disguises, though his limp often gives him away.
Mini Bonq-bonq – Waitress.
Small, blonde and feisty, Mini’s diminutive size is no boundary to her intensely passionate nature. Trained in combat, this isn’t a lover you want to turn down.
Lieutenant Hans Grubbier – German officer.
Currently on leave from the front, Hans Grubbier is an effeminate officer who drives a little tank, but has a big heart.
Private Zelda Deerhart – The Colonel’s secretary.
A model soldier in the German army, Private Zelda’s well-pressed uniform hides a wealth of saucy underwear and a passionate nature. She has a stern voice and a tendency to shout.